I feel kind of bad about bringing this blog back to life after so long, but it would be wrong to leave this out.
I managed to track h0nk down.
From time to time, if I'm drunk, if it's late, and if I have nothing better to do, I'll search online to see if anyone has uncovered anything new about it. Or, if I'm honest, to see if anybody remembers us.
Usually I don't find anything. Last night there was something new.
I don't browse Reddit as a matter of habit, but /r/gaming/ had a thread about obscure video games where somebody had brought up the topic of TRAINING.bsp. And one of the voices insisting that it was a hoax seemed not only knowledgeable in the details of the game, but had a style that I couldn't help but recognise.
Like I say, in the days before profile pictures were a thing, a person's typing style was everything.
So I got in touch. I asked him if he used to go by the handle h0nk on Planet Half-Life, and if he did, whether he felt like chatting again.
It's probably easiest if I just post the transcript. Using the old screen names seemed weirdly appropriate, kind of like two old men squeezing themselves into drainpipe jeans to try and go clubbing again.
h0nk: so, i was honestly wondering if id ever be able to have this conversation
h0nk: and here i am
h0nk: so i guess that answers that
Prof.Player(1): I'm just glad you're ok.
h0nk: yeah. it was a rough couple of years but honestly i'm better off out of the leadership. too much stress
h0nk: still, thats what leadership is. you have to put yourself forward, do the dirty jobs that nobody else is willing to do. because it would tear them apart if they had to.
Prof.Player(1): Dirty jobs is right.
Prof.Player(1): I still get nightmares sometimes about staring that corpse down.
h0nk: yeah, you and divisible were the only ones who knew what it was like
h0nk: how is he btw?
Prof.Player(1): They're the only one I stay in contact with. But much happier. Less fucke dup. Probably for the best that it ended when it did.
h0nk: you think so? man, after we got that far in, you're not curious about how it ends?
h0nk: cos i still have a copy, and ive been in touch with a few of the others. i reckon we could make a pretty good go at it, if we tried
h0nk: what do you say? i could add you on fb, we could talk it over
Prof.Player(1): You want to try again? After all that?
h0nk: dude, its just a game. they're not real. nothing is.
Prof.Player(1): Maybe. I've kind of moved on from gaming now.
h0nk: lol were all kinda rusty
Prof.Player(1): The reason I got in touch was that I wanted to make sure you were safe. You sounded like you were freaking out when you quit. No contact details or anything.
h0nk: oh, that
h0nk: yeah, the game got to making all sorts of threats to me. pretending it knew where i was, threatening to kill me, kill my family. just some cold reading and lucky guesswork, looking back on it, but at that age
h0nk: well
h0nk: you have a tendency to take what people on the internet tell you for granted.
h0nk: anyway, while we were playing, my mum took a fall down the stairs. broke her hip. we had to rush her to hospital. nobodys fault. but i got the idea in my head it was me, or the game, or whatever. that it was real. freaked out for a bit, just tried to get as far away from it as i could
Prof.Player(1): Who the fuck are you
Prof.Player(1): h0nk's mum died when he was 5
h0nk has left the conversation.